Dearest Shuichi
by RestlessRenegade
Summary: Excerpts from the diary of Shiori Minamino. Slight A/U.
1. Chapter 1

Written: May 2010

I came up with this when I read a story on here called "Kitsune's Brother" by Coffeetailor. The concepts are very different, but I was inspired. I often think that Shiori is much cleverer than we give her credit for. As they say, "a mother knows."

**Dearest Shuichi**

**1. A Beautiful Dance**

Dearest Shuichi—

My hope is that you will one day read this diary and know whom your mother truly was. I haven't been able to speak to you as much as I'd like since taking ill, and that's my fault. It's hard to watch someone you love deteriorate in front of you, and I don't expect you to spend much time at my bedside. You say that you are busy with school now, and that is probably true. But you also have other things on your mind; things that I won't press you about. I don't have much time to worry about them these days, anyway. It hurts, Shuichi. I don't tell you how I truly feel every time you ask because if I did you would take it badly, and I don't want that. I only want you to be happy. But I think you already know; you look at me with tears in your eyes when you think I'm not looking, and you toss and turn in your sleep. Oh, it's a beautiful dance we have here, keeping secrets and knowing that both of us have them. I hope we'll dance for a long time.

Signed,

Your mother.


	2. Chapter 2

This chapter makes references to the original YYH manga, which has details of Shuichi's relationship with Shiori that the anime never included.

**Dearest Shuichi**

**2. All Alone**

Dearest Shuichi—

I know that my moving to the hospital is hard on you. You're all alone in the house now, and you've taken on most of those responsibilities. It's hard. But I think you might be enjoying the freedom on a subconscious level; after all, what normal teenager wouldn't? Not that you're normal. You've never been normal, Shuichi. I know that now. Perhaps I always knew it. I love you anyway—or maybe because of that. Either way, I won't be around very long. My arms itch. I lied to the doctors about the scars there.

Signed,

Your mother.


	3. Chapter 3

**Dearest Shuichi**

**3. Strong and Fast**

Dearest Shuichi—

I had no plans to write in this diary after the last entry, because I was quite sure that I would die before then. My illness came on strong and fast, and though I had planned to write here for a year or so, I had lost all the time I'd expected to have. The only reason I'm writing now is a miracle. It's something that I cannot explain, and if you can explain it then you aren't going to do so to me. I've tried to ask, but mostly all I've done is hug you and remember how much I love you. I wasn't going to write in the diary, but now I think I should. I should document every thing that I think about us, Shuichi, because I don't know when I'll get the next chance to do it. I'll keep writing, and with any luck, you won't inherit this diary until I've gone gray and you have your own children to love. In the meantime, thank you. I don't know what you did or how you did it, but thank you.

Signed,

Your mother.


	4. Chapter 4

**Dearest Shuichi**

**4. A Place to Sleep in the Storm**

Dearest Shuichi—

Since I've gotten better, I've given you more freedom. Partly because I know you did a brilliant job on your own when I was away, partly because you're getting older, and partly because I get the feeling that you'll disobey me if I don't. I'm not afraid of you, son—I don't believe you'd ever willingly hurt me—but I do know you, and if you truly need to go somewhere for a few days or take care of some business, you'll do it whether I give you permission for not. And I also know that you'll feel bad about it later (that seems like a more intrinsic quality than the previous one for you) and I'd rather spare us both that discomfort. So I'll draw the line somewhere, but not yet. For now I like being around you. I don't like it when you're gone; you could be getting into something dangerous, and I won't know until the day you don't come home. But until that day, I want more than anything to give you a warm place to sleep in the storm. I feel there are many of them coming.

Signed,

Your mother.


	5. Chapter 5

Shiori is referring to Roto's brother here, who was stalking her while Roto was fighting Kurama. If Hiei hadn't confirmed that such a being existed (in the dub, he says that Roto's brother vanished when Roto died), I would never have believed it. I always thought it was just a bluff.

**Dearest Shuichi**

**5. All the Happiness I Need**

Dearest Shuichi—

Your excuse is a little thin, but I won't press you on it. It isn't often that you ask to leave for an entire week, and you've promised to call and let me know you're all right, so I don't see that I really have a choice. I'm afraid that if I tell you no, you'll go anyway and then you definitely won't come back. You're going with friends, and that's good. You have good friends. I've been feeling a little watched lately—like something's following me, though I'm not sure what. You're distracted and busy, so you don't notice. You've been on edge lately. My hope is that you'll come back in a week and feel better. I pray for that, son, because you are all the happiness I need. Someday you'll understand that.

Signed,

Your mother.


	6. Chapter 6

I'm pretty sure Kurama had nightmares about Karasu. _I _had nightmares about Karasu.

**Dearest Shuichi**

**6. A Distant Star**

Dearest Shuichi—

When you left, there was something in your eyes—some sort of longing, as if you were afraid to leave. Now I know why that is. Tonight I saw you for the first time in a week, and a different look has replaced that dread. Now your eyes are dark, and your face is shadowed. I don't know what happened to you last week, or whether I need to know. You seemed fine at dinner, and can obviously still beat me at Go, but now I can hear you moaning in your sleep. You're having nightmares. I want to wake you up and stop them, but if I do then you'll know I heard you and you'll be afraid—either of me or for me. I'm not sure which, but either way I don't want that. It's better to let you sleep, and hope they end on their own. Despite the changes you bring back, having you home changed the whole house. It's brighter now. It burns like a distant star, alone in space and living only to keep living.

Signed,

Your mother.


	7. Chapter 7

Here's where you learn exactly what from "Kitsune's Brother" by Coffeetailor inspired me. Chapter 8, the scene when Hiei and Kurama dance together in the garden. Initially, I thought it was a little OOC, but it was also wonderfully creative and fresh, and it reminded me of _My Neighbor Totoro_. I wanted to see it from Shiori's perspective. Thanks for reading!

**Dearest Shuichi**

**7. A Silver Fox**

Dearest Shuichi—

It's very clear to me now. I know who you are. That kind of thing isn't something you can hide from your mother, no matter how hard you try. I don't think you realize that I know you aren't human—not entirely—or that you aren't from this world entirely either. I have no heart to tell you, because I know that you never said anything because you were afraid of what I would say. Sometime soon I'll tell you what I know and hope that you will stick around to hear me say that I love you no matter who you are or where you come from.

I dreamed that you were dancing, Shuichi. You were calling forth plants that were too beautiful for my eyes; I couldn't breathe. A silver fox was hiding in the plants and flowers, and I wanted to warn you, but then the fox licked your hand and I knew that he was not dangerous. He still frightened me, though. All of it seemed like something that wasn't mean to be on this planet—like something that was too sacred and real for me to see. How much of this dream is the truth I do not know. What I know is this: there will come a day when you leave this world. I pray that this day comes after I've died, and you'll find solace in that other place where you once belonged. But if we are not so fortunate—if I survive before you must return to your other home—then I want you to know something. I want you to know that no matter how long you are gone, I will always, always be here waiting for you to come home again. I love you, Shuichi, more than you'll ever know. You will always have a place to come home to. Remember this.

I think I'm done writing in this journal. I shall hide it in the garden and wait for you to find it.

Signed,

Your mother.

_terminus_


End file.
